JOUR 131

Nothing is impossible…

2007-12-09T17:32:00.000-08:00

By Princess B. Abuluyan

It doesn’t matter who the child’s parents are. Does it? And perhaps it really is no excuse either. When it comes to the kind of person a child grows up to be, whether a good person or a bad person, that child is responsible for his/her actions.

People who are parents—one of their most important jobs is guiding their child. Parents have the responsibility of teaching their child what is right as well as what is wrong.

However, making the ultimate decision to act right, well, that decision is all up to the child.

This is not to say that parents don’t influence their child’s decisions. “There are only two kinds of people in this world…good people and bad people,” is what my mom once said to me. And perhaps there really is no being in between the two kinds. My mom asked me, “Which kind of person do you want to be?” Without a doubt, “GOOD” is, and will always be, my number one answer.

Does it matter what a child’s parents do? Well, in some cases, a child’s parents may not be that child’s best role models. They may be alcoholics, or drug addicts, or young parents who don’t know the first things about raising a child. They may be parents who don’t act like parents. Like a single mother who acts like she’s her daughter’s older sister rather than her mother. Don’t be surprised if mother shops at “Forever 21” or wears her teenage daughter’s clothes. Hey, it happens.

In reality, no child asks to be born into the kind of family he/she is born into. And in some cases, no child asks to be put in the kinds of situations he/she has to face.

Like a child in the middle of parents who are constantly arguing. And then, a divorce. Imagine the toll it takes on the child who has to go through this—it’s unfortunate let alone heartbreaking. And what becomes of the child as a person? In all honesty, some children who come from a “broken” family turn bad. Perhaps they misbehave, act poorly in school or often get into fights with other students. Guidance is what they need, and emotional support too. It’s okay for a child to be upset or angry about their parents’ divorce. For crying out loud, how else could a child feel about that? However, a child makes the ultimate decision whether to act positively or negatively towards any given situation. Misbehaving is a negative response, and does no good for the child. Life will only become tougher.

Every person in this world has their own problems and struggles that they’re going through. It is how people choose to deal with their problems and struggles that can either make or break their lives.

It boggles my mind when young teenagers make poor decisions or do bad things in their lives. They steal from stores, or vandalize people’s property, or misbehave in school. Young girls think they’re in love, and oops, they get pregnant. The question is: “Is it their fault?” Where oh where is their common sense? Troubled is what these children are. But will that always be a valid reason, or is it an excuse?

• “Oh yeah, my parents divorced when I was young, and that really messed me up.”
• “Forget college! My parents don’t seem to care about my education anyway. They didn’t even go to college, so why do I have to?”
• “My mom had me when she was 18-years-old. So why does it matter that I’m 17 and pregnant? I can handle it!”

Grow up! If a child truly wants to be a good person, that child will strive to be a good person, despite problems and struggles.

One of my cousins—her mother gave birth to her at age 17. After my cousin, she gave birth to a boy, and after him, another girl. The father is out of the picture. And that’s a lot of struggle and hardship involved, being so young, already a mother, and having to raise three kids on her own. And my cousin was exposed to all the struggle and hardship. One may have thought that she’d grow to be a strong person and goal oriented. She even told me herself that she’d focus on school and would not turn out like her mother. So I was completely shocked when the news leaked out that she was pregnant. My cousin was only 18-years-old, and she had gotten pregnant. That changes her life forever. But it doesn’t necessarily have to be a negative change, depending on how she deals with it.

Every single person in this world has their own problems and struggles that they’re going through. It is how people choose to deal with their problems and struggles that can either make or break their lives.

Sometimes, it’s a matter of children understanding what they have as they’re growing up. A child doesn’t have to grow up to be exactly like his/her parents. Instead, a child could see the struggles their parents go through and want better than that. There is always that option, that decision to act right, for a child to become a better person and have a better life. It just takes a lot of hard work to get there. And despite the life struggles, who a child’s parents are or where a child comes from or what a child has been through, nothing is impossible when it comes to having a good life.

John’s Incredible Pizza Company

2007-12-03T07:48:00.000-08:00

By Princess B. Abuluyan

Looking for someplace fun to go with family? Perhaps someplace new? Well, look no more, because here is an incredible recommendation.

John’s Incredible Pizza Company is the place to go. This indoor amusement park is a new development in Roseville on the corner of Sunrise and Eureka. It opened this year on March 6.

If you’re someone who enjoys a place like Chuck E. Cheese’s, then chances are you’ll like John’s Incredible Pizza Co. just as much. Or perhaps even more.

Don’t get me wrong. Chuck E. Cheese’s has always been, and still is today, a popular place for families to go and have fun. Hooray for playing games that cost no more than 25 cents each, exchanging tickets for prizes, and eating pizza! I was just there a couple of weekends ago for my nephew’s birthday party. It was a lot of fun, definitely a good time spent with family. But on a Sunday afternoon, that place was overwhelmingly crowded left and right with toddlers, kids, teens, adults, and even elderly people. My niece lost her favorite Dora The Explorer slippers in the crowd and went home without them.

John’s Incredible Pizza Co. is, well, the place is incredible fun. Call it an upgrade. Enter an exciting world of entertainment where people of all ages can do more than just play games and exchange tickets for prizes. There’s a bowling alley in there! And what makes this particular amusement park unique from a place like Chuck E. Cheese’s? It has RIDES! And not just for kids. Teens and adults can ride too. For screaming out loud, take a trip on the Incredible Express Roller Coaster. Bump bumpers with other guests on the Boogie Bumper Cars. Feel the tickle in your stomach and let out a burst of laughter as the Frog Hopper will lift you up high off the ground and then drop you back down—hop, hop, and hop.

A 9-year-old boy, AJ Sales, who was at John’s Incredible Pizza Co. for his cousin’s birthday party, said the rides is what he likes most about the place. He said his favorite ride is the Twister because it twists around a lot.

What else has John’s Incredible Pizza Co. got to offer? Incredible food. So incredible, it’s all you can eat. Can’t argue with a buffet, right? There’s a salad bar, and a variety of soups, pastas, pizzas, and desserts to choose from. Clam chowder is a tasty choice of soup. Dress your pasta with your choice of sauce, whether marinara, meat or alfredo. There’s also macaroni and cheese, prepared regularly or as a topping on a slice of pizza. When it comes to pizza, there are so many kinds to choose from. Besides the traditional combination, veggie, cheese, or pepperoni pizzas, try the nacho cheese, fiesta, garlic and olive oil, cheeseburger, or BBQ chicken ranch and garlic pesto pizzas.

“I would like to try the spicy peanut butter pizza,” said Sales.

Believe it or not, the spicy peanut butter is 1 out of the 2 pizzas that John’s Incredible Pizza Co. is famous for, according to their official website www.johnspizza.com. The number 2 pizza is the alfredo, which is my favorite choice. It’s delicious.

John’s Incredible Pizza Co. is huge inside, and the fun is inviting. There are different themed dining rooms that guests can choose to eat in. The games and rides are in a separate room just past the food area and dining rooms. It’s a fairly spacious place, so that even if there were a lot of families, the place wouldn’t be overwhelmingly crowded. It’s a “happy, have a good time” feeling being in there. Upbeat music is playing. Kids have a blast. And teens, or parents, can sure do the same and feel like a kid again. The smiles on people’s faces, and outbursts of laughter being heard says it all.

The buffet is affordable.
• Kids ages 3-6 pay $3.99, and ages 7-12 pay $4.99
• Adults pay $6.99 on weekdays, and $8.99 on evenings and weekends
Games and rides are paid for separately.

When asked if he would go to John’s Incredible Pizza Co. again, Sales said, “Yes, a million times. It has a lot of fun stuff to do.”

Quit pushing buttons…tune into Pushing Daisies instead

2007-11-15T11:34:00.000-08:00

By Princess B. Abuluyan

Wednesday night rolls around. The clock strikes 8 and you’re pushing the channel buttons on the remote in search for something good to watch. Well, if your pushing leads to absolute boredom, perhaps you should direct yourself to Pushing Daisies, a new romantic drama on ABC.

Creator Bryan Fuller has viewers at the edge of their seats, and eyes glued to the screen—it’s that captivating. Move away from reality television and enter a world of “artsy-fartsy” fantasy, unraveling mysteries, blossoming romance, and a dash of good comedy here and there.

And a narrator does well to keep viewers engaged and on track of what’s going on. Reminds me of the narrator in the movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. Both narrators have the same function—they keep viewers watching for more.

Meet Ned, the main character. He’s the owner and pie maker of the Pie Hole. But something about this pie maker makes him different from the rest. He’s got the magic touch. But not the “Midas touch,” because every thing he touches does not turn to gold. Instead, his touch brings the dead back to life.

Then there’s Emerson Cod, a local private investigator who catches on to Ned’s secret ability.
He and Ned team up to solve crimes:
• Ned brings murder victims back to life
• Emerson and Ned ask who killed the murder victims
• and collect the rewards

But as always, there’s a curse to every blessing. A second touch will return the murder victims to their previous state, deceased…for eternity. But the people Ned revives can only stay alive for one minute, and if they exceed that limit, someone else will take their place among the dead. Sad, but true, there’s no escaping death!

“Charlotte Charles was laid to rest earlier today.”

She is Ned’s childhood crush who he knows as “Chuck.”
And Ned is Chuck’s first kiss.

He brings her back to life, but chooses to keep her alive. He loves her too much to let her go a second time. Love is definitely back in the air.

It’s a common thought that first love never dies...
Ain’t that the truth!

Ned tells Chuck his secret, and she joins the crew to help solve crimes. But that makes Ned’s life a little more complicated. He’s spending every day with the woman he believes is the only one for him. But no matter how close they are and how much in love they fall for each other, they can never ever touch. It’s a brilliant bittersweet twist in the story.

And interesting how they show their affection for one another. Like Emerson giving Chuck a hug that was from Ned.

Will their love survive?

Will Ned's ability remain a secret as he and the crew continues to solve crimes? Unraveling the mysteries is so suspenseful that viewers too will be taking note of the facts and trying to solve the crimes. But be surprised, because the murderers are far from predictable.

What will happen next?

Perhaps now on Wednesday nights, you’ll be dying to watch Pushing Daisies to find out!

Technology changes the student life…

2007-11-08T11:02:00.000-08:00

By Princess B. Abuluyan

Watch “A Vision of Students Today” on YouTube, and if you’re a college student like me, you’d probably be nodding your head in agreement throughout the whole video.

Because it says a lot and a lot of it…well, IT’S TRUE!

Two hundred students surveyed themselves.

“What is it like being a student today?” That’s the question.

A simple question right? But being a student is not simple.

It may be hard to learn, or get assignments done. College life is definitely stressful at times. That’s inevitable. Reading assignments may be overwhelming. On school nights, it’s usually five or less hours of sleep for me. Sleepless nights spent writing a paper, or studying for an exam, been there done that. Perhaps juggling a full time job and being a full time student and paying bills, or students balancing their college lives and personal lives—it’s a real tough world.

Students probably question themselves often.
· “Why am I taking this class? I don’t understand the material.”
· “Am I even learning anything, or will I even remember any material after the semester is over?”
· “Why do I need this class? I don’t see the point.”

College is expensive. Students pay hundreds of dollars for college. And if students feel they aren’t learning anything in their classes, then what’s the point? It’s a waste of money, a waste of time. But students have to learn to deal with their problems.

“My average class size is 115,” is one of the captions a student displays in the video. That’s a lot of students in one class. It’s usually lectures and students note-taking the whole time. The quality of education is what matters, despite the crowded classrooms of students sitting beside each other almost elbow to elbow.

Technology has changed the classroom scene. Today, most instructors use PowerPoint when they present their lectures. It’s projected onto a big screen students can see, whether sitting in the front or in the far back. PowerPoint presentations are more engaging. Pictures or videos can be added. That makes learning more interesting, when it’s not just all text on the chalkboard or overhead slides and trying to jot all of that down on paper. Visual aids can give students a better understanding of what’s being taught. With today’s technology, instructors can kick their lectures up a notch and gain more attention in class. Find ways to make learning fun, because that’s the only way students may actually learn something and enjoy what’s being taught.

Students also pay hundreds of dollars to buy books. Book requirements—if it’s not necessary, then say so. Some students have told me they’ve gone through some of their classes without the book and were able to pass just fine. Some regret buying books they never even opened, or only read a couple pages out of. Students will sell their books back and get money back—that’s great! But the buyback is half or less of the original cost. It’s ridiculous. The money, not after the buyback but all of it, could have been spent towards something more important. Oh yes, something like FOOD.

Some material is available online now. Instead of opening a book to learn about something, students can go online, search the material, and read about it there. Perhaps it’s more understandable too, format wise. Sometimes, text books don’t make clear sense to students. Long time-consuming chapters. Big words that students aren’t familiar with. It can be confusing. But the internet is just a click away. Dictionary.com? Or instructors can provide their students with links to helpful websites that cover the same material a book does. Hey, it saves money.

Nowadays, the internet bridges communication between instructor and student. If class is cancelled, instructors can send an email. Students are even asked to email their assignments and take quizzes online. But is that reliable? What happens if the email doesn’t go through, or the computer freezes while taking a quiz?

Some students also use their laptops in class to do work. But that’s not always the case. With internet access, laptops can easily be a distraction. Who knows? Students could be chatting away on AIM or exploring Myspace, Friendster, or FaceBook. It’s the same deal with cell phones. Students could be text messaging through class. That’s the downside of technology in a classroom.

Another downside—distance education. I took Mathematical Reasoning. The class and I would watch the instructor teach on TV. Sometimes the screen wasn’t clear, and the audio would skip. He wrote his notes too quickly, and if students wanted to tell him that or ask a question, they’d have to call him on the classroom phone. It was difficult to learn the material that way, and more than half of the class was failing. I got a D. But a year later, I took the course again in a regular classroom. I was able to understand everything more clearly, and the teacher was right there for me to ask questions. I passed with an A. Big difference? HUGE!

Technology is part of everyday life. It continues to change the student life, but hopefully for the best reasons—improving the quality of education.

Crush 29—check this place out!

2007-11-01T11:24:00.000-07:00

By Princess B. Abuluyan

It’s Monday, a couple minutes after 6 p.m., and I’m driving on I-80 toward Roseville. Where exactly? 1480 Eureka Road is my destination, restaurant Crush 29. I’m running at least ten minutes late, and then, like out of nowhere, my car is HIT! Yes, I know! It’s crazy right? But no joke. I couldn’t believe it either. It happens underneath this huge grey cloud that stretches out at least a mile in the sky. Splat after splat after SPLAT! That’s right—loud heavy drops of rain is pouring on the windshield, minimizing visibility of the road ahead. A couple bursts of lightning flash in the gloomy sky—YIKES! The weather had me thinking, “Oh no, this isn’t happening.” Oh but yes, it is. Say hello to traffic and more delay!

I finally get to Crush 29. My first time, so picture me excited. Parking is not a problem. Although there is a distinct row of restricted 30-minute-parking, regular parking should be fairly easy to find. But hey, if guests don’t have time to look, there’s always complimentary valet parking to turn to. That’s convenient.

At a first look, the place looks more like a club than a restaurant. Outside are a set of comfy couches to lounge on, and also an electric heater to provide warmth for guests on cold nights. Crush 29 doesn’t look like the rowdy teeny-bopper kind of club, but rather, a really nice, classy hang out spot for a mature crowd. It sparks an inviting curiosity as to what the restaurant looks like on the inside.

Guests will see a second set of comfy couches just past the entrance and before the check in stand. Staff and servers dressed in casual attire welcome guests with a bright smile.

I’m inside for the first time, and my reaction is, “Wow, this place is fancy.” A lit candle on every table and the wine glasses catches my eyes, romantic table setting to match the romantic lighting. But no need to worry, the menus are still readable.

Crush 29 offers a little bit of everything. Choose from a variety of appetizers, salads, pastas, specialties, stone hearth pizzas, sandwiches & burgers, desserts. What’s amazing is that each entrée is arranged in a creatively appealing way, and eyes will stare. Guests may wonder whether an entrée will taste as good as it looks. Guests will be surprised—not only does the food look good, but it also tastes…well, “it’s GOOD!” That’s the 2 words that came out of the mouths of everyone at my table, including me. Prices range reasonably from around $12 to $20 per plate.

I had the Wood Stone Half Chicken, for $14.95. It’s a new entrée to the menu, under “Specialties.” It was a fulfilling portion, and every bite was delicious. The chicken was full enough of sauce and flavor, and wasn’t dry. I really like the creamy and smooth smashed potatoes served underneath the chicken. There’s something extra tasty in its flavoring that’s not in the traditional recipe.

Care for some wine? Crush 29 offers over 200 different brands, 50 available by the glass and 150 by bottle. So wine and dine!

A real unique 9,000-spuare-foot restaurant, its known for its Napa Valley theme. Wood and stone interior, and wine lockers. The restaurant has got an autumn color scheme—a combination of beige, black, browns, greens, yellows and reds. It creates a calm and relaxing atmosphere. A look of class and pure elegance. “Wine country” themed murals blanket the upper walls of the center dining room showing soft green and yellow colors. In the center of this main dining room, is a round bar surrounded by high tables paired with tall chairs, and surrounding that kind of seating arrangement are comfortable booths.

A fireplace, one in each of the two side dining rooms, gives the restaurant a cozy feeling—guests can feel at home. Decorating the walls of those two dining rooms, are framed pictures showing liquid red and gold colors—something to marvel at, perhaps while waiting to eat. Freely open to interpretation, they look like portraits of wine. Wooden rectangle shaped tables fill the center of both rooms, and on the sides are half chair-half booth square shaped tables. Private dining rooms are also available upon reservation.

Surprisingly, for a romantic setting, Crush 29 plays loud up beat music. The place has got a fun club vibe to it. Perhaps to keep the crowd awake? Possibly so. A mixture of fast tempo classical, jazz, and acoustic guitar instrumentals. And also remix versions of pop songs like “This Way” by Jewel and “Can’t Fight the Moonlight” by Leann Rimes. That’s the music my ears heard during my dine-in at Crush 29. Loud volume, but Guests look alive, and raise their voices above the music in their conversations.

Curious to know how the restaurant got its name? Me too! So I emailed info@crash29.com for an answer. Vice President of Concept Development, Mark Platt, says the name came from them wanting to have a hip name that made people think of the wine country. The word CRUSH? “Crush is the term used in winemaking for the process of bringing grapes in from harvest and the beginning of the winemaking process.” And 29? “The 29 comes from the main highway through Napa Valley.” Oh! So there’s the answer to how Crush 29 became the name of the restaurant. It fits well! Thanks to Platt for the 411.

Whether a group of friends catching up, a group of coworkers having lunch, a family affair, or a couple on a date, Crush 29 is an awesome place to have a good time, exchange smiles and share laughs. The delicious quality of the food and wine go hand in hand with the overall happy atmosphere making Crush 29 a restaurant people will want to dine and hang out at.

Despite the weather, traffic, and 28 miles it took to get there, dining at Crush 29 was worth it, and definitely the highlight of that rainy Monday night.

“Once a cheater, always a cheater!” Right?

2007-10-29T05:55:00.000-07:00

By Princess B. Abuluyan

A mother cries every night since she found out the shocking news that caused a dose of pain to pierce into her heart. The children are tucked into their beds ready to go to sleep, but can hear their mother sobbing uncontrollably. They don’t know exactly what’s going on, but they do know their father hasn’t come home yet. And why is that?

A sister discovers a crinkled piece of paper in her husband’s pants pocket while she’s loading dirty clothes into the washer. There’s a phone number on it. And right above that, a name. What does this mean? And who’s Emma?!

A cousin is cleaning her bedroom. Her eyes spot a bra slightly peeking from underneath the bed. Normally, she’d toss it into the laundry basket. Except the only problem is, she takes a closer second look and realizes the bra isn’t hers. Well, who does it belong to then?

What do the women in the stories above have in common? Their man is cheating on them! And here’s the bottom line, “once a cheater, always a cheater.” Right? So tell the two timing Jack to “hit the road”—this relationship is over!

But it’s often not so easy to say goodbye.

A woman who has been cheated on can feel the biggest amount of pain she has ever had to feel in her life. A different kind of pain than getting physically wounded. It’s mental pain, internal and emotional. Unlike a cut or bruise that will eventually heal and be forgotten, the pain of being cheated on is a stab in the back remembered forever. It can hit a woman so hard, the pain can seem unbearable like life for her, as she knows it, is over. The moment she unravels the secret that is “the other woman,” she may feel as if she can’t breathe anymore and her heart has stopped beating.

“How could he do this to me?”

She can’t believe it. Perhaps she doesn’t want to.

“No, I must be out of my mind. He would never hurt me like that. He loves me.”

Okay, so she’s fighting the truth.

Of course, she still loves her man very deeply. After all, she’s not the one who cheated. Perhaps that’s why it can be difficult for a woman to be straight forward and easily say, “You cheated on me! It’s over between us.” Because she’s still holding on to what used to be—the happiness and love that used to be. She’s stuck—“blinded by love.”

Any story of a husband who cheats on his wife is upsetting. But it happens. A friend of my cousin had been with her husband for eleven years. She was pregnant with their second child when he left her for the woman he’d been having an affair with. Ouch! How could he do that? To his family? Did the other woman know he was a married man with 1 child and expecting another? She ought to be ashamed of herself right? Why would any woman want to be with a guy who cheats on his wife? He could do the same to her.

There’s no excuse for infidelity. Cheating is wrong. You women who have been cheated on, your eyes could cry an endless stream of tears for days. Take that pain you’re going through and let it strengthen you. Forgive and move on to a better life. It’s his loss. Don’t blame yourself for something you didn’t do and had no control over. He cheated, he and only he is responsible for that. Don’t focus all your anger at the other woman, because he had just as much to do with it as she did. Confront him, not her. And fight every urge to seek revenge on the couple, be the better person.

What if he apologizes and still wants to be with you? Do you open your heart back up to him? Could you ever trust him? Could you go through another round of pain if he cheats a second time? Don’t tolerate a man who cheats. Yes it’s hard to say goodbye to someone you love. But a man who sacrifices his wife and kids to be with another woman? Is that love? Seriously, you deserve better than that! And so do the kids!

The same goes for man, if it’s woman who cheats.

Be careful what you say, and who you say it to.

2007-10-18T11:43:00.000-07:00

By Princess B. Abuluyan

It was 2004, my senior year of high school, and Senior Ball was coming up.

Sacramento had been experiencing several inches of heavy rain for the past couple of days.

With Senior Ball just twenty-three days away, seniors never expected something like this to happen. Students had walked into the classroom drizzled wet from rain, and were getting settled in their seats. The intercom turns on—morning announcements.

“Awful news for seniors…,” says the school’s activities director.

Eyes grew big and jaws dropped open, faces suddenly looking shocked. Seniors couldn’t believe their ears. Even I couldn’t believe my ears.

The intercom turns off.

What happened? Rain had flooded the Lincoln Plaza where Senior Ball was scheduled to be at. Perhaps one huge leak in the roof. Or, in this case, probably 5 or more. Damages were so severe; repairs to fix them would take time, twenty-two days was not enough to have the place fixed by Senior Ball. And it was too late to make reservations elsewhere. So, Senior Ball would be in the school’s gymnasium.

“This can’t be real! I didn’t pay $65 to have Senior Ball here at school.”

Unbelievable! But true. Or at least that’s what seniors thought.

The intercom turns back on.

“Seniors…,” says the activities director. He pauses for a moment to spark their curiosity, and then says, “…have a HAPPY, April Fool’s Day! Senior Ball will be at Lincoln Plaza in Downtown Sacramento. See you there!”

Relief! But stupid April Fool’s Day, you got me!

How did it ever become a holiday anyway? Well, there’s no exact answer, it’s lost in history. But the most common answer is that it started in sixteenth-century France when April first was regarded as the start of a new year.

A new year was celebrated the same way it is today with parties and dancing into the late hours of the night, according to Mary Bellis’ article “The History of April Fool’s Day.”

Then Pope Gregory presented a new calendar in 1562—January first is the start of a new year. “Some people hadn’t heard or didn’t believe the change in the date, so they continued to celebrate New Year’s Day on April first,” says Bellis. “April fools,” is what others would call them.

That’s the story. Well, 1 explanation.

So April first—people play jokes or tricks on other people, try to make them believe that something false is true.

It’s really supposed to be fun and entertaining—no hard feelings, no offense intended. But if an April fool’s joke doesn’t have people laughing at the end, something must have been done wrong. Such experiences can make April Fool’s Day someone’s least favorite holiday for the remainder of the year.

Here’s a tip. Be careful with playing jokes and tricks on people. Take my experiences for it.

In middle school, a best friend told me she had been diagnosed with cancer. It didn’t occur to me that the date that day was April first. But hearing those words come out of my friend’s mouth, her shaky voice along with the sad face she displayed—my heart was crushed, and my mouth speechless. And then she tells me, “Oh no, don’t cry, I’m only joking. Today’s April Fool’s Day.”

“Are you serious,” I said hysterically. We laughed. But shortly after, I didn’t feel like laughing anymore. I turned to her and angrily said, “Oh my gosh Amber, you scared the crap out of me! You can’t joke about something like having cancer, that’s serious stuff!” She realized it was wrong, and apologized. We just hope now that it doesn’t come true. “Knock on wood.”

Another friend once told me his grandmother died. Feeling sympathy, I said, “That’s awful. I’m sorry.” And then he said, “April Fools!” I told him he was crazy. Okay, who jokes about someone dying? That’s a bit cruel right? Again, “knock on wood.”

There’s also the time my 13-year-old cousin, Valore, said her older sister was pregnant. Boy did that story quickly spread around to relatives like a disease. She was sorry she said it. “No, it’s not true. I was only joking. I thought you knew. It’s April Fool’s Day,” she said hours later. Not everyone recognizes April Fool’s Day. Some people wake up and it’s just like any other regular day to them.

Some pranks could have consequences. Like turning a friend’s watch forward an hour. The next day, she’s late to class and gets lectured by the teacher about the importance of arriving to class on time. Ouch! Embarrassed? Yes. Upset at prankster? Yes.

Be careful which pranks or jokes to play, and which people to play it on. Have some sense what the outcome will be, because it could be a joke taken seriously. Like another person’s junk is another person’s treasure, a joke to one person may not be a joke to another. As fun as joking around can get, try not to ruin April Fool’s Day for people.

In some cases, separation is okay.

2007-10-15T07:58:00.000-07:00

By Princess B. Abuluyan

D-I-V-O-R-C-E.

These days, divorce is definitely nothing new.

A lot of my old friends, and even some friends I have recently gotten to know, have divorced parents.

“One out of two marriages ends in divorce,” says writer Amber Martin in her paper titled “Divorce and its impact on children.”

Unfortunately, “till death do us part” is no longer what it used to be. Well, at least not for those couples who happily marry, and then later file for divorce.

Oh dear, where did marriage fall apart?

Perhaps “till nerves do us part” is the better way to put it.

Families receive the news of a relative’s divorce and their initial reaction is usually, “What! What happened?”

Why do couples divorce anyway? Whatever the reason, divorce is not necessarily a wrong maneuver. Honestly, is divorce so wrong? Hey, if marriage isn’t going well and the love is lost, why stay tied to the knot?

Some couples stay married for the sake of their children. And that could actually be a wrong maneuver.

“Over one million children a year experience their parents' divorce,” says Martin.

Martin mentions the negative impact on children feeling abandonment, guilt and anxiety over the experience.

Yes, divorce has an impact on children. But so do parents who continue to stay together even though they know their marriage is no longer a happy one. The flame of love burns out. A couple that was once so much in love and inseparable, can no longer stand being in each other’s company. They can’t ever agree on anything anymore, it’s always a disagreement to fight over. Or, they find out things about each other that they never knew about before they were married.

An unhappy marriage is most likely to develop an unhappy family. Parents need to think real well about the well being of their children. They should ask themselves, “What’s best for them?” And even the question, “What’s best for me?”

A close friend of mine from high school, he’s a real positive 21-year-old who is responsible and knows right from wrong--that’s what I admire about him. His parents divorced when he was 12-years old. Thinking back, he says his parents were always arguing. And today, they still argue. Like cat and dog, he describes, they can’t stand to be around each other—they get on each other’s nerves.

How did the divorce impact his life? “That’s why I am who I am today,” he says. Since his parents’ divorce, he feels that he had to grow up right then and there. And although he admits that the divorce will probably always haunt him, he still manages to keep a positive attitude and strives to do big things and go far in his life.

So, children experiencing their parents’ divorce does not necessarily mean the end of the world for them. It could be for the better, depending on how they choose to approach the situation and how much they understand what actually happened between their parents. As much as children may want their parents to stay together, it’s important that their parents are happy together. If not, then separation is probably the best way to go. Because a marriage that suffers, could be a family that suffers.

According to 2002 marriage and divorce statistics on www.divorcemag.com, 10% of the U.S. population is divorced.

Marriage can be a struggle at times. And arguments between a couple can either help make their marriage stronger, or tear it apart.

Arguing occurs in marriage—it’s normal. Besides, every one has their share of arguments. It’s inevitable, and it happens. But too much arguing is negative. Just think of those children who are living in a home where their parents are constantly arguing and not getting along. There’s back and forth name calling, loud angry voices feuding, and perhaps even the throwing of objects. Without a doubt, children experiencing their parents behave this way can be disturbing, emotional and traumatizing. It’s far from being a healthy environment to live in. People can only imagine what children might be going through, what their ears hear or eyes see. Children should not have to be exposed to their parents fighting all the time.

It may cause children to think that it is okay to always be arguing in a marriage. “No matter what the downfalls, marriage is forever
baby!”

Well, not necessarily.

And this is not to say that parents shouldn’t try to work their problems out first. By all means, go for it. There’s a possibility marriage can be saved. But, parents should have some sense of when to draw the line. Parents should know when to stop trying to make something work that they know isn’t going to work.

This also goes for unmarried couples who live together and have children. In the United States, the number of unmarried couples living together is 5.5 million according to www.divorcemag.com. Lets face it, they’re just as good as married, but without the rings and contract.

One of my older cousins had a baby girl with his former girlfriend. They lived together, but never married. Unfortunately, shortly after their child’s first birthday, his girlfriend left. Their relationship fell apart, and she was no longer the girl my cousin used to know and fell in love with. When a couple lives together, they’re bound to learn more about each other, whether good or bad. With this relationship, my cousin would leave money for his girlfriend to pay the bills. But the bills would go unpaid. And the money? Who knows where it was spent? The bottom line, it led to arguments, and lies. So the couple separated, and they share custody of their child. No more arguments, life is better.

U.S. marriage and divorce statistics in 2000 says:
- the number of single fathers is 2.04 million
- and the number of single mothers is 9.68 million

My cousin freely gave me some advice from his experience. He says, “Don’t lie to yourself. If a relationship really isn’t working, don’t waste your time trying to make it work. You got to be happy.”

My parents are still together. Just eight days ago, on October 7, it was their 26th wedding anniversary. And I have to admit, after 26 years, they’re still a very much in love and happy couple. What can I say, seeing my parents that way makes me feel happy. There’s no other better reason to stay together.

YouTube—beyond the funny

2007-10-11T11:07:00.001-07:00

By Princess B. Abuluyan

www.YouTube.com

Since its birth in February 2005, YouTube allows people throughout the world to upload and share videos.

What could be the purpose that’s got probably millions of people viewing this website at this very moment?

“On YouTube, millions post everything from Saddam Hussein’s execution to two guys being funny in a dorm room. In some cases, really funny,” says columnist Kathleen Parker in her column titled "To be un-famous.”

Okay, could be for the laughs, and that’s probably the most common purpose.

YouTube is an amazing web phenomena, growing in popularity.

Anyone can upload any video. Anyone can watch.

Music videos. Movie clips. TV shows. Educational videos. Scary stuff. Funny stuff.

Anything.

And it’s FREE!

An 8-year-old nephew and 5-year-old niece of mine watch videos on YouTube. Those must be some funny videos, because they will loudly giggle non stop at the computer screen. So much uproar laughter, it’s contagious to people, like me, who hear them and will want to know, “What in the world is so funny?”

People can watch the funniest videos, and laugh so much that their stomachs begin to ache. And maybe even so much that some people pee their pants just a little? Familiar feeling? But it’s okay, because despite that feeling, it sure was a good laugh—and that’s basically the point.

Search “funny” on the website, and about 2,250,000 results appear. Added 1 year ago, and 9,148,929 views, “extreme funny” is one of my favorite YouTube videos. I laugh throughout the whole clip. I’ve watched it at least 5 times. I laugh every time.

Watch it below and see the funny…

Okay, enough funny stuff.

What’s really interesting about YouTube? Beyond funny?

What’s interesting is how easy as “1-2-3” it is for people to broadcast themselves.

“…behind one’s being awarded celebrity status, today one need only wake up, plug in the video cam and hit a button,” says Parker, “Voila! Insta-fame.”

YouTube—what an easy opportunity to be watched, and eventually known by millions.

Perhaps, a chance to make it big and become famous.

“It gives everyone their fifteen minutes of fame,” says a 21-year-old student at California State University, Sacramento.

Really? Only fifteen minutes?

Hey, don’t underestimate the possibilities. YouTube can indeed bring fame.

Watch Esmee Denters—she’s an 18-year-old Dutch singer from the Netherlands who became a YouTube celeb within just a few months.

A member since August 25, 2006, Denters began to post videos of herself singing cover versions of popular songs.

Denters has recorded in the studio with singer Kelly Roland.

“She [Denters] is so talented. She has a beautiful voice, a voice of an angel. She has more than a million hits within hours,” says Roland.

With a deep dedicated passion for music, Denters taught herself how to sing. Impressive. Amazing! She’s got potential and real talent, a soulful captivating voice all her own. Born to be a star singing sensation!

The video below is only 1 of the sixty-five videos Denters has on her YouTube Channel, http://www.youtube.com/user/esmeedenters.

Denters singing "Dance with my father" (tribute to luther vandross).

By early June 2007, singer Justin Timberlake’s new Tennman Records label signed Denters a record deal. Timberlake discovered Denters’ YouTube videos and was amazed at what he was seeing.

Denters singing with Justin Timberlake.

Wow, what a dream come true for Denters. Stay tuned for her upcoming debut album…

Watch David Sides—another talented individual. Ever since the age of ten, playing the piano has been his passion. But what’s so brilliant about him? He plays all of his songs by ear. “So unfortunately, I don’t have any sheet music to share,” Sides says. He’s awesome, one truly talented player on the keys!

It’s absolutely amazing how much raw talented people there really are in this world. And that everyone else can actually watch their videos and discover them just by the easy click of a button all thanks to YouTube.

But the viewers can make or break you. It’s all evident in the comments and ratings people submit.

“The Public is in control…the world building the artist," says Rowland.

YouTube, beyond the funny, could be that window of opportunity, a step closer to fortune or fame.

Watch out world, YouTube’s got talent!

More Esmee Denters?
official website:
http://www.esmeeworld.com
fan sites:
www.esmeezone.com
www.esmeedenters.org

More David Sides?
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/kemlye1
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/davidsides

It means something

2007-10-07T19:29:00.000-07:00

By Princess B. Abuluyan

Ever read a piece of writing?

Sure.

But, ever read a good piece of writing?

And not just any piece of writing. But beyond the everyday street signs, news, text messages, emails, letters, bills, fast food or restaurant menus…

It’s the kind of critical, in-depth writing people can’t stop reading from the second they start. The human mind will hunger for more of it, and eyes will want to feed on. Curiosity will spark; readers will want to know, “what next?”

Like watching a good movie people can’t get enough of…
Reading a good book people’s hands can’t put down…

And it’s the content that reels people in—it’s so captivating, so interesting. Perhaps emotional, it touches the human soul. Perhaps something people can relate to—it means something or probably everything. It’s the kind of writing people will remember and most likely pass on to others.

It’s “Kathleen Parker” good kind of writing.

A journalist for 20 years now, who has contributed her writings to dozens of newspapers and magazines, Parker writes on life’s challenges and social issues related to family, children, gender and race. And that’s what makes Parker’s column worth reading.

She addresses current events.

But what’s even more attention grasping from beginning to end of most of Parker’s writings, is that she will affect people to remember serious issues most people should already know exists in this world, but often forget about or pay little attention to.

Issues like slavery which Parker names today as human trafficking. Read her column titled “Slavery by any other name.”

She also addresses family issues—structure, parents who divorce, children living in a single-parent home, or children growing up with two moms or two dads for example.

According to chicagotribune.com, Parker says, “My ambitious goal is to try to inject a little sanity into a world gone barking mad.”

People close their eyes to certain realities, but Parker’s column is like a wake up call—as if to encourage the people of America to open their eyes and realize what’s real.

Online porn—it’s real, and it’s everywhere. Parker writes about it in her column titled “Pigtails and porn.” She says, “A new study reports that 42 percent of Internet users between the ages of 10 and 17 have viewed online porn.” Okay, so adults will view what they will, but 10-year-olds should not have access or exposure to porn. They’re only children, and too young. Do they even understand what their eyes are seeing? Porn was not as easily accessible before as it is today. Should something be done to change its easy access?

“Deleting dad” is well written. Parker addresses the questions, “Are men necessary?” and “Is sex necessary?” She says so few children these days have a dad who’s there. And here’s her research to support that: “A third of all American children are born to unwed mothers and half will sleep tonight in a house where their biological father does not live.” Next question: “Is sex necessary?” Parker says women who have given up on Mr. Right are searching instead for a good vial of sperm and certain genetic features in sperm. For example, Parker says, “An African-American woman chose a Latino donor so her child would have light skin and nonkinky hair.” So, are men only as good as their sperm? Wow, this is a reality, and it’s powerful writing. Parker suggests, “A future of fatherless children—bereft of half their identity and robbed of a father’s love, discipline and authority—won’t likely be a pleasant place to live.” It’s something to think about. Remember, children don’t get to choose the kind of family they are born into. Perhaps fathers are necessary.

“To be un-famous” is a clever writing. Parker suggests that “celebrity ain’t what it used to be.” Is that so? She says, “Where there was once hard work and accomplishment behind one’s being awarded celebrity status, today one need only wake up, plug in the video cam and hit a button.” Parker discusses the Web phenomena. Anyone can be known, be famous. People will post their videos on YouTube. People will post their photographs and biographies on MySpace or Facebook. Anyone could be watching those videos, looking at those pictures, or reading those biographies. The level of a person’s privacy is lowered. Parker approaches a different view of what fame is. It’s another interesting column, another reality to think about.

If anything, her column makes people think.

Parker sheds light on what people may know is happening, but have sheltered in a dark someplace, somewhere.

Her column is worth reading because she writes the inevitable truths. And she includes research to support her statements. It’s the kind of writing that may alter how people think about certain happenings. Perhaps, it will inspire people to want to do something to help bring a positive change.

The Washington Post Writers Group says Parker is “one of America’s most popular opinion columnists.”

From smaller papers to larger ones, Parker worked her way up.

She started out as a staff writer for The Orlando Sentinel in 1987, writing a twice-weekly column.

In 1995, Parker’s column was syndicated nationwide. Townhall.com says, “Her column rocketed in popularity and now appears in more than 300 papers.”

According to chicagotribune.com, Parker never set out to become a commentator, but she found that keeping her opinion out of her writing was impossible.

“One can only stand watching from the sidelines for so long without finally having to say, ‘Um, excuse me, but you people are nuts,’” she says.

Some awards Parker has won:
• Best Columnist from the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors
• First Place, Division 3 in the American Association of Sunday and Feature Editors’ Ninth Annual Writing Awards competition, both in 1997
• she won the H.L. Mencken Writing Award issued by The Baltimore Sun in 1993
• The Week magazine named her as one of the country’s top five columnists in 2004 and 2005

Links to Parker’s writings:
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/opinion/columnists/orl-parker,0,4065963.columnist
http://www.townhall.com/columnists/kathleenparker/archive.shtml
http://www.jewishworldreview.com/kathleen/parker.html

Cookies and candy and chips…oh my!

2007-10-01T09:34:00.000-07:00

By Princess B. Abuluyan

Families will usually go grocery shopping together. Strolling through the “junk food” aisle, children will want to buy cookies, or candy, or chips.

Should parents buy “junk food” for their children?

Obviously, eating too much “junk food” is not healthy. So, some parents will sometimes say no when their children ask to eat those kinds of food.

But then, there are those parents who will always say yes.

A child may likely throw a tantrum if his mom refuses to buy him chocolate chip cookies, or a bag of potato chips. It can be an embarrassing scene for his mom. But is that the reason why she should buy the cookies or the chips for her son anyway, to avoid him throwing a tantrum?

Children will eat anything they want.

Well, not necessarily; not if their parents can help it.

Think of it in different terms. Children will want to eat anything they want.

But parents are the ones who can make the final decision what their children eat.

Parents are responsible for their children’s physical health and well being—it’s an important part of raising children.

Children are young, and they do not usually know what’s good for them. They will eat the kinds of food that tastes good to them.

Cookies and candy and chips—oh my!

They will eat the kinds of food that are loaded with sugar and sweets. But do they know which foods are healthy, and which are not?

That is why parents should be well involved, and make responsible decisions what their children consume.

Reminds me of a few personal experiences…

It’s 9:28 in the morning. My niece, who is only two-years-old, is awake and her footsteps are heard coming down the stairs. She walks into the kitchen, and guess what she asks for?

Not a cup of milk…
No, not even juice…
Instead, what she wants is a cup of soda.

“Auntie, I want coke,” she says, pointing a finger at a half full 2 litter bottle of coke she sees on the counter.

Wow, is this child really asking to have soda? Drink soda in the morning? She’s only two-years-old.

Her mom might have let her drink soda in the morning before. Perhaps, all the time? But she didn’t have it this time. Drinking soda in the morning could give any child an upset stomach. So, the answer is no.

Perhaps, you have a nephew like mine. He eats often throughout the day. Sometimes, even right after eating a full lunch, he will sit on the couch, watch the Disney channel, and eat potato chips at the same time. He could probably eat the whole bag in one sitting too, but his mom makes sure he doesn’t. It’s just too much food, and not healthy.

In America, a number of children are obese. Is that surprising?

Honestly, what do children know about being obese?

If they get hungry, they will eat. If they see something in the kitchen they want to eat, they will eat it.

Parents should know when to step in and draw the line. Sometimes, it also helps to have little or no junk food in the house. That way, children will not always be eating it or expecting to have access to it.

Most children, if not all, don’t even like to eat vegetables. Sometimes, parents make it too easy for their children not to.

During dinner, a child might stare disgusted at the broccoli on her plate and say, “I don’t like it.” And that’s the end of that, the parents let it go. But some children have never even tasted vegetables. So, how do those children know whether or not they like their vegetables if they haven’t tasted them first?

If parents allow their children to eat anything they want, their children will only want to eat anything they want.

Now, this is not to say that children should be banned from eating junk food. But there should be some kind of balance. Children should be taught how to eat healthy food aside from junk food, and usually, that responsibility is that of their parents.

There was one Sunday morning at Saint Rose Catholic Church when a priest from another country visited. He gave a powerful speech.

He said, “In other countries, children are crying because they are hungry. In America, children are crying because they don’t want to eat.”

It’s something to think about.

Some children are picky with what they want to eat. Parents want their children to eat a meal for dinner—rice, chicken, and vegetables for example. But some children will whine because they do not want to eat that. They cry for a scoop of vanilla ice cream instead, or chocolate chip cookies for dinner.

Allowing a child to eat just ice cream for dinner could let that child think it is okay to always have ice cream for dinner.

It’s all a matter of teaching children the value of food, from the get go.

It’s like “Monkey see, monkey do”….why not target all?

2007-09-27T12:01:00.000-07:00

By Princess B. Abuluyan

While I was driving this morning, I could not help but notice in the rear view mirror, the woman driving in the car behind me. She was a car’s distance away from me, but she was also happily chit-chatting away on her cell phone.

I glance at the time, it shows 8:32. Who is this woman talking to? Who knows?

There are cars everywhere—that’s for sure. It’s the usual blanket of cars that cover the streets traveling through slow bumper to bumper traffic to their destinations.

I’m thinking, “Woman, this is not the time to be talking on your cell phone…pay attention.”

I’m approaching a red light, so I begin to gradually press my right foot on the brake. I also glance in the rear view mirror to check whether or not this preoccupied woman behind me noticed my brake lights.

I am shocked at what I see?

Not only is she still talking on her cell phone with her left hand, but she is also reaching her right hand over to the passenger seat beside her, perhaps rummaging through her purse in search for something.

I was at a complete stop now, and seriously, this woman’s eyes stayed glued towards the passenger seat beside her, her hand still moving around in search of that something, and her mouth was still talking into the cell phone that was still in her hand.

I was thinking, “Woman, you better stop—bring your car to a stop soon or else you’re going to end up rear ending my car!”

The light turned green and I pressed on my gas to move away from a close call.

The woman behind me changed lane to the left, she passed me, and I let out a sigh—relief.

Often, perhaps too often, people are seen talking, or even text messaging, on their cell phones while driving.

A car may be seen swerving a bit out of lane…oh, that’s because the driver is talking on a cell phone and is not concentrating on the road.

A car may be traveling too slow…oh, that’s because the driver is sending a text message and all eyes are on a cell phone and hands typing away at the key pad.

Obviously, cell phones and driving is a dangerous combination. And to know that, is common sense. Using a cell phone while driving is a distraction, and drivers forget too easily that it causes car accidents.

But hey, perhaps common sense goes flying out the window, gone with the wind. Drivers will still use their cell phones anyway.

It has become so common, it happens every day.

Well, with that said, some Californians may be glad about Senate Bill 33, which will take effect July 1, 2008. It will be illegal for Californians to use their cell phones, or any kind of electronic communication device while driving. Even hands-free devices will be illegal.

And here is the part that stirs up a level of controversy—the bill will only apply to 16- and 17-year-old drivers.

Is it fair to only target teen drivers under age 18?

Teens are not the only drivers who use cell phones while driving. Adults use them too. What is the difference?

Using a cell phone is using a cell phone, regardless of a person’s age.

What depends is the level of common sense that drivers have to make responsible decisions while driving.

If the cell phone starts ringing in the car, can the driver manage answering that phone call and still drive safe at the same time?

Perhaps, the driver should wait for a red stop light, because it’s possible to check missed calls or voicemails sooner or later. Perhaps, even just for during that red light period.

Drivers should have a sense of what they are capable of doing while driving, and know the appropriate times to use a cell phone.

Recall the woman who was driving behind me this morning. That’s right, she was a woman. She definitely did not look like a 16- or 17-year-old driver to me. And I didn’t mention the first time that she also wears glasses!

So, if this woman were to drive in the same accident prone manner as she did this morning on the day Senate Bill 33 is set into motion, the bill would not apply to her?

But if a 16- or 17-year-old were to drive like that, it’s a violation and that driver would have to pay a $20 fine at the lowest cost.

Where is the fairness in that?

Senate Bill 33 should apply to all California drivers.

Usually, it is the older people who are supposed to set a good example, and younger people will hopefully follow.

It’s like “Monkey see, monkey do.”

But driving laws do get broken. Some drivers run red lights. But if nobody sees it, is it a violation?

In some cases, it’s a matter of being caught in the act.

Who knows if Senate Bill 33 will reduce driver distraction and car accidents?

Drivers under age 18 will probably still use their cell phones while driving.

They could still talk on their cell phones, set on speaker and placed on their laps. On the outside, it wouldn’t be certain whether or not they are talking on their cell phones. They could just be singing along with the radio. Right? It’s a possibility.

“Mirror mirror on the wall…”

2007-09-24T02:03:00.000-07:00

By Princess B. Abuluyan

She is not just anybody.

She is a daughter. She is a sister. She is an aunt. She may even be a cousin.

Perhaps, you know someone who is just like her.

She is family.

Somewhere in this world…a young girl wakes up in the morning, gets out of bed, and walks to one corner of her bedroom. There’s a mirror standing there. She positions herself in front of it and stays there for a long while…long enough to carefully analyze the image she sees staring back at her.

This girl does this every day—it’s become a part of her morning routine.

She lets out a sad sigh. Thoughts are running through her mind.

“This face is too round. These shoulders are too big, and arms too fat. These thighs are hideously wide, and this waist could be smaller. Ugh, and look at that belly.”

REALITY CHECK! What belly? And that waist couldn’t be any smaller. For crying out loud, her pants are a size zero and her shirt, a size small.

Honestly, what do some teenage girls and young adult women see when they look in the mirror at their bodies?

Anorexia nervosa…it could be a case of anorexia nervosa.

Dictionary.com defines anorexia nervosa is “an eating disorder primarily affecting adolescent girls and young women, characterized by pathological fear of becoming fat, distorted body image, and excessive dieting.”

Familydoctor.org says, “People with anorexia may believe they would be happier and more successful if they were thin.”

Unfortunately, we live in a society that places a high value on image. We have created an image of perfection, of what a beautiful body is.

Every day, people are exposed to images of thin women shown in the media. Most models show tall and thin bodies—the sexy “hour glass” or “coke bottle” shaped kind of bodies.

In most cases, our image is our very own key to acceptance. In some cases, however, our image is a look to die for.

REALITY CHECK! It is not a healthy look.

A girl who has anorexia nervosa will usually look at herself in the mirror, and she will think that she’s fat, even though in reality, she’s not. And it’s all in her mind, regardless of what her eyes are seeing. Her eyes could be seeing a thin body in the mirror, but in her mind, the translation is, “Eewww! I look disgusting. I’m fat!”

“Ding-ding-DING.” The sound of an alarm goes ringing off in this girl’s head, and it’s like some sort of signal telling her she’s got to lose some weight, either exercise more often or eat less.

Don’t even think about doing that! What about some therapy or counseling instead?

Anorexia nervosa can develop into a serious health issue, given that girls who suffer from it will severely starve themselves of the food and nourishment their bodies need. Some are not aware of what they are doing to their physical health and well being. They could use some very much needed attention, ASAP.

Families should definitely get involved. Family members should not pretend that everything is okay, or that their sister or daughter or whoever has anorexia nervosa is just going through a phase.

Do something about it. It may be a difficult situation to deal with, especially if girls who have anorexia nervosa refuse to believe they have a problem. Still, families can provide endless help and support, and show that they care—it can make a difference.

It strikes me when I hear my younger female cousins complain and whine about the way they look. I have a teenage cousin who will usually say, “I feel so fat.” I give her this look of wanting to slap some kind of sense into her as she repeatedly squeezes at her stomach…at a fat that’s not even there!

She’s taller and skinnier than I am. It makes me think, “Gee…if she says she’s fat, what does that make me?” Ouch!

I always tell her, “Are you serious?!” Stop it, you’re not fat. You’re beautiful just the way you are, and I love you.”

I have a friend who was once sad about being fat, or so she thought she was. Of course, I looked at her with crazy eyes because she is way too far from ever being considered fat.

She is the same age as I am, 21 years old, and she can still shop for her clothes in the kids’ section, which she does do sometimes. Her tops are extra-small, and bottoms are a size one or two. She decided she was “fat” when she could no longer fit into an extra-small t-shirt. Now, she wears a size small. Wow, big difference. Not!

I told her, “Stop being crazy, you’re over exaggerating. You’re not even fat, you wear a size small t-shirt. Maybe, you should eat more.”

Teenage girls and young adult women should understand that they don’t have to be thin. Beauty comes in all different shapes and sizes.

Familydoctor.org says, “The most important thing that family and friends can do to help a person with anorexia is to love them.”

http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/common/mentalhealth/eating/063.html

Bad service…a look at two sides of the matter.

2007-09-20T11:56:00.000-07:00

By Princess B. Abuluyan

Is it always fair to be upset and make a scene with the waiter over bad service?

And over what scenario of bad service exactly? Because the “waiter” is taking too long to bring you your food? That is not necessarily the waiter’s fault. Oh, has it been over half an hour? Maybe you should have ordered an appetizer then. Well, not if you don’t want to. But perhaps, instead of mouthing off to the waiter, you should march your hungry self to the kitchen in the back and ask the people who actually cook and prepare the food about the delay. Or you could look around you, and suddenly realize how full of people the restaurant is packed with and will have to serve tonight. Still, the waiter maintains a positive attitude towards you, and manages to apologize anyway for the restaurant’s inconvenience of your having to wait a while longer for your food to be served.

Everyone has their own definition of what “bad” service is, built up on their personal experience. And there are no warning signals, no alarms ringing off in the distance. Bad service can occur anytime, anyplace. Dine at a restaurant, and you just may taste a little dose of reality—bad service is inevitable. It happens, so wipe the surprised look off your face because it definitely is nothing new.

Something new then, could be viewing bad service through a waiter’s eyes. Put yourself in a waiter’s shoes. Open your eyes to view the other side of bad service—the waiter who is automatically viewed as the cause of restaurant bad service in most cases. But hey, it is not always easy to please customers given some situations.

Turn the tables around and take a second bite out of reality. You may think that some waiters can be rude, and treat you poorly. But, in some situations, it is the customers who can be rude to the waiters, and treat them poorly. And what happens next, do they seriously expect to receive good service from their waiter after that? Waiters most likely let it go, and continue on with their job. There’s not much they can do about it, now is there? Except that they could spit in your food, and then serve it to you. No, that was only a joke.

But acknowledge the point here. Some customers can drive a waiter crazy. Some customers can be demanding. They can come into a restaurant after having a bad day or just having a personal problem on their mind, and whether they are aware of it or not, they take their frustrations out on the waiter. They don’t smile, they look completely upset, and give their order to the waiter in a commanding tone of voice. The waiter wonders, “What happened to the customers’ usual saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ at the end of an order?”

With that said, customers should keep an open mind about how they define what bad service is. Okay, so maybe a waiter gets your order wrong, or doesn’t check in on you to refill your empty glass while you’re eating. View both sides of the scenario before you open your mouth to describe the waiter’s service was bad. Does the waiter look like he/she is having a bad day? Waiters, just as much as customers and all human beings, have bad days too. They have their own problems that they’re going through too. And despite that, they still bring themselves to work when they’re supposed to, all just to serve the customers. Some waiters are juggling being a full time college student and working at the same time. So that could be taken into consideration also.

In some situations, it is okay to cut waiters some slack. They see probably over one hundred faces every day on the job, and cover countless tables, continuously taking orders and serving food—some days on the job can be so busy that the work can become overwhelming. And who knows if your waiter had to previously deal with a rude customer before moving on and becoming your waiter? They deal with a lot of different kinds of people and attitudes every day on their job.

Remember those childhood days? …sure you do.

2007-09-17T01:27:00.000-07:00

By Princess B. Abuluyan

Do you remember the day you were born? Scratch that question, no one expects you to answer “yes” to that. Of course you don’t remember. That is because when we are brought into the world, we are born not knowing much, if anything, about life and the ways of living. Each and every one of us is born having a clean state. We don’t know anything.

But as we grow older--from babies through our “terrible twos,” and from children to teenagers to young adults--we are taught and learn right from wrong. That includes being taught to have good manners. Right? Hopefully, all of us can answer “yes” to that question. And hopefully, the good manners we were taught growing up, we display and hold on to throughout our lives.

What is it with children who have bad manners? There are children who do not say “please” and “thank you,” or even “excuse me” when necessary.

Some children develop bad habits like biting, hitting, or spitting to name a few. You may have seen it happen--perhaps a child spits in someone’s face--and you shake your head from left to right because you know that’s not appropriate behavior, and you think in your mind, “Oh my gosh, what in the world is wrong with you child?”

How about children who pick their nose in public? And most children, if not all, will fling their boogers or wipe them on the nearest object within their touch, or maybe even on a person like you. Or even worse, they take a sample and eat their boogers right in front of you. You’re probably disgusted by the very thought of it and thinking right now, “Eewww, that’s gross,” or something along those lines. Surely, the same reaction remains in response to children who chew with their mouth open when they are eating, or those who cough or sneeze without covering their mouth.

Let’s not forget about children who have the nerve to talk back to their parents or elders. That is without a doubt disrespectful behavior. And it’s understandable that situations like this can be difficult and frustrating to deal with. The same goes for children who use profanity. We begin to wonder how these young children ever learned in the first place, how to talk back or use foul language. Where, oh where, did their good manners go? Perhaps they never had them to begin with, and that is why children need the attention and guidance to be taught good manners as they are growing older.

Children should be taught that there is a difference between expressing how they feel and talking back. Parents may feel like wanting to hit their child for talking back or saying the “F” word. But hitting a child can teach that child that it’s acceptable to hit other people. It is a more positive approach to be patient and talk the problem out. It can teach children to talk their problems out.

Those of us who are parents, or people who have experienced being around children who have bad manners, can only imagine what might be going on in these children’s minds.

We may wonder, for example, “What was that kindergarten girl thinking when she decided to bite her classmate’s arm?” Or, “What was that boy thinking when he hit his little sister because she was playing with his toys?” Where do parents even begin to start teaching their children good manners?

Raising children is not an easy task. Who ever said it was easy anyways? And should we blame or be angry at children for not knowing how to act or behave appropriately?

In public places, a store for example, you may come across a boy throwing a tantrum in the electronics department because his mom refuses to buy him a new video game. He is crying outrageously and stomping his feet, and his mom is completely embarrassed and tells him, “Stop it right now, or I’m going to spank you!”

Parents deserve the right to teach their children the ways of living. By all means, feel free and go ahead and put your foot down. Don’t tolerate bad manners. Let children know what is and is not acceptable behavior. But don’t allow yourselves to lay a hand on them, because that is never a fair way to deal with the situation. Children will be children; they’re only children. Don’t forget the fact that you too, were once a child--“been there, done that.”

It is not so much that children who have bad manners are necessarily “bad” children. Don’t look at it that way. Children having bad manners only lack the knowledge of what it is to have good manners. They have yet to be taught and to understand.