Remember those childhood days? …sure you do.

By Princess B. Abuluyan

Do you remember the day you were born? Scratch that question, no one expects you to answer “yes” to that. Of course you don’t remember. That is because when we are brought into the world, we are born not knowing much, if anything, about life and the ways of living. Each and every one of us is born having a clean state. We don’t know anything.

But as we grow older--from babies through our “terrible twos,” and from children to teenagers to young adults--we are taught and learn right from wrong. That includes being taught to have good manners. Right? Hopefully, all of us can answer “yes” to that question. And hopefully, the good manners we were taught growing up, we display and hold on to throughout our lives.

What is it with children who have bad manners? There are children who do not say “please” and “thank you,” or even “excuse me” when necessary.

Some children develop bad habits like biting, hitting, or spitting to name a few. You may have seen it happen--perhaps a child spits in someone’s face--and you shake your head from left to right because you know that’s not appropriate behavior, and you think in your mind, “Oh my gosh, what in the world is wrong with you child?”

How about children who pick their nose in public? And most children, if not all, will fling their boogers or wipe them on the nearest object within their touch, or maybe even on a person like you. Or even worse, they take a sample and eat their boogers right in front of you. You’re probably disgusted by the very thought of it and thinking right now, “Eewww, that’s gross,” or something along those lines. Surely, the same reaction remains in response to children who chew with their mouth open when they are eating, or those who cough or sneeze without covering their mouth.

Let’s not forget about children who have the nerve to talk back to their parents or elders. That is without a doubt disrespectful behavior. And it’s understandable that situations like this can be difficult and frustrating to deal with. The same goes for children who use profanity. We begin to wonder how these young children ever learned in the first place, how to talk back or use foul language. Where, oh where, did their good manners go? Perhaps they never had them to begin with, and that is why children need the attention and guidance to be taught good manners as they are growing older.

Children should be taught that there is a difference between expressing how they feel and talking back. Parents may feel like wanting to hit their child for talking back or saying the “F” word. But hitting a child can teach that child that it’s acceptable to hit other people. It is a more positive approach to be patient and talk the problem out. It can teach children to talk their problems out.

Those of us who are parents, or people who have experienced being around children who have bad manners, can only imagine what might be going on in these children’s minds.

We may wonder, for example, “What was that kindergarten girl thinking when she decided to bite her classmate’s arm?” Or, “What was that boy thinking when he hit his little sister because she was playing with his toys?” Where do parents even begin to start teaching their children good manners?

Raising children is not an easy task. Who ever said it was easy anyways? And should we blame or be angry at children for not knowing how to act or behave appropriately?

In public places, a store for example, you may come across a boy throwing a tantrum in the electronics department because his mom refuses to buy him a new video game. He is crying outrageously and stomping his feet, and his mom is completely embarrassed and tells him, “Stop it right now, or I’m going to spank you!”

Parents deserve the right to teach their children the ways of living. By all means, feel free and go ahead and put your foot down. Don’t tolerate bad manners. Let children know what is and is not acceptable behavior. But don’t allow yourselves to lay a hand on them, because that is never a fair way to deal with the situation. Children will be children; they’re only children. Don’t forget the fact that you too, were once a child--“been there, done that.”

It is not so much that children who have bad manners are necessarily “bad” children. Don’t look at it that way. Children having bad manners only lack the knowledge of what it is to have good manners. They have yet to be taught and to understand.